hectic

Was a very hectic day today. Got up pretty late, skipped breakfast, ran to class, man the fog was awesome, and ended up not understanding anything in class coz I reached late. Been upset since yesterday. Was feeling extremely irritated all through the day. As it is yesterday didn’t end on too happy a note. And today begun on a hangover maybe, wasn’t too grand a beginning either.

Basically our heads jhaaroed a few of us bigtime. And the one person I thought wouldn’t break up did. Felt bad, yes for her. Dunno yeh I do know it’s like pretty crazy. But that’s what it was like. By the end of the first class was damn hungry, but had some fest work on hand. Went around with Katoch and managed to get over with it. Finally rushed over to Harry’s for four idly’s, a shared chai and a couple of fags. Was pretty sleepy by then too. Had slept 8 hours in the past 40 hours. Late night meetings and early morning classes being the reason.

Being a good friend of mine I felt awful at not having been around to comfort her. Kept eating me inside out. Couldn’t mail cause the net was down. Couldn’t call cause I’d run out of balance. But finally after lunch did manage to message her, which I hope she did get. It’s a very grey area, a very uncertain thing. Sometimes I’m like all happy and contended to be my grand own self, dreaming of the mountains, humming U2 numbers, reading up novels, hoping to run the 100 metres within the magical 13 seconds and visualising a left footed curler, making past the airborne fully stretched goalkeeper kissing the crossbar and hitting the back of the net ( a sexy goal!)…. and then heh, suddenly I’m lost in a gamut of colourful confusing thoughts. Suddenly I’m left all empty.

Its so cozy here in my room. I’m wrapped up in a quilt and wearing a jacket. Goo Goo Dolls singing about the girl right next to them. A warm glowy feeling. Yes I am happy, happy with myself. Happy cause I’m doing all my classes. I’m slowly getting rid of the fear of doing long stretches of classes. Wednesday morning I did all 5 morning classes (from 7:30 a.m.- 12:30 p.m.) after having slept at 4 a.m. in the morning. It was a confidence building experience, I managed to stay awake all through, get decent notes and actually feel interested. Haven't bunked a single class, feel that i can manage to keep my frequent library visits on. Till now things have been on track.

And oh yes i sure have to be on track, cause if i'm not, well then i think i'll quit. It did sound crazy when i first thought about it, and probably does too. But studying literature would have been so much more better. Jadavpur was the place to be. No, i'm not saying this of the extremely attractive Bohemian culture there. But cause i guess i could have done all things i like doing most out there and manage well, cause i'd be studying something i'm definitely more interested in.

Anyways let all that be, today seems to be a day when my thoughts are flowing at regulated pace, healthy enough for me to be able to key them in.

Challo then thnx for the 2nd read....-bye