mumbye

It's probably like falling out of love. The sadness that overcame me still confuses me. I'm out of Bombay. And surely one chapter is over and lost and unredeemable. The last days were spent walking the small lanes of where I lived... Veronica Road, Waroda Road, Pali Naka, Bandstand and the Fort on Buddha Purnima night; acutely aware of the smallest things that would change.

moon up in the east and sun down in the west; in between the two i'd sit and read(view from fort top)

I will miss the familiarity of this place. Somehow the quiet narrow lanes and small buildings crowding in on each other breeds a homely feeling to this neighborhood. And that too in a place like Bandra. Where you step outside the comfort of the sleepy inner lanes onto the Super Mall streets of Hill and Linking Roads. And then you walk down towards the sea passing Mount Mary and her steps. And you sit and read while the waves whisper and groan and roar as they please.

I had my own place, a comfortable existence, decent money to go by and no responsibilities at all. And now I'm going ahead and changing it all! It isn't like I realized this just now. In fact by the end of my notice period at work I decided that I had to make the most of the remaining month I had there. I did a second Goa trip to a friends place. Lived in a century old Portuguese styled house with amazing wood worked ceilings and windows. Drove to the northernmost beaches in Goa, ate a whole lot of Xacuti, drank cheap liquor and pledged to settle down there. And now I'm sitting here writing about it all, logging it in so that I don't forget all that I did.

I wish I could list out all the small things I would like my memory to hold on to. It would be incoherent and formless. Yet the intent to never forget this time would be served.

Spent my evening sitting at the Fort (again!). And every single time I sit there it's magical. Looking for solitude in a crowd, I get it there. Sitting right ahead looking down at the black rocks and the waves crashing in below, I'm flooded with emotions. Its almost like being on a trip, completely unaware of my surroundings, caught up in my own thoughts.

The sea froths white foam below and the sky with the millions of stars looks like a huge movie screen towering above me, completely engulfing my view. There's a fury with which the waves lash out at the rocks below, it's similar to the fury with which the thoughts run in my head. I feel like I'll fly off into the movie screen and become shooting star :)

I'll be leaving Bombay soon. A thought that upsets me horribly. This place's meant a lot in many many ways. It is futile to attempt to word how it's been. Will be going home for a few days and then off to IIMA for probably the most gruelling two years of my life.

Other than the initial euphoria, I've almost always been visited with the thought of how things might turn out to be afterwards. I guess I wouldn't venture into thinking that way if there wasn't such a big deal we make of such things. It kind of feels hollow when people talk about all the good things career and money wise the future holds. Then again that's one of the reasons a lot of people start walking towards getting into this place. Just hope things don't go too crazy and stay normal.

But, if anything else, there's nothing that beats the initial euphoria. If I could, I'd do it all over again to live those first few moments.