emotionally yours...

Human emotions are amazing aren’t they? At one moment the world seems to have been made for you and at the very next you're probably an ugly doormat that people use to clean their shoes with. This is the beauty of it all. A famous ghazal singer once said that a human is most creative when in deep pain or extreme joy.

I write in pain and grief, for joy there isn’t any left. I know I act stupid, I know I act impulsive. I know this is naïve but the rush of tumultuous emotions is a rush like no other. So let me flourish and let me revel. Let me make the most of it and God give me the strength. The strength to take it all on. Maybe tomorrow shall be a better day. Maybe tomorrow shall bring joy forth. Today is deep and dark and without light or hope. And from the deepest throes of pain let me scream and vent my fury cause this is my only way out, my only escape. Yes I am a coward for I a mortal. Yes I am thankful that mortals aren’t immune to all that is immortal.

Sometimes its always wrong. And sometimes I feel cheated. Sometimes the world is the cruellest joke played on you. In a flash your high up there and it couldn’t get rosier. And then in a bang your right down there, where you never thought you’d ever be.

Time flies they say. Everything seems to be running away from you. If there’s anything I’d ever want to be in an afterlife it would be a mountain. Loving an inanimate object is being lucky. They don’t cheat you, they don’t spurn you. They say the fear of rejection should be forgone for love is unconditional. But animals and inanimate objects understand this the best for their love is unconditional. Humans are not animals. They are humans.

I don’t know whats come over me. But this is the way I feel presently. I hope it doesn’t last long and I know my brain is trying to make sense of the moment at hand through these lines I speak to you. Calvin said my brain is trying to kill me. Einstien said time was relative. Everything is true and yet humans (which includes me) are probably the most despicable creatures on Mother Earth. I feel cheated, and this is what comes out. I cry and shout and scream. I can only marvel at Mother Earth’s tolerance.

… you should know that even though what I’ve written isn’t very coherent, what I feel at present must be very apparent. Deep anguish and deep pain- let me cry to myself now for that is all I have left- bye