Saturday, December 03, 2011

Bum bum bum bum

I’m worried that being the bum suits me very cosily. Imagine now- B-school grad turned beach bum who feeds dogs and drinks tea in shacks. Whereas fellow graduates are investment bankers who write books on the greater meaning of life and make the world spin on its axis.

Oh, the shame!

To save face and sound wise I shall quote Stephen Fry on his school "The best thing about having gone to Cambridge University was never having to deal with not going there".

Was having a very meaningful and important discussion with a friend a few days back. The kind of stuff b-school grads normally talk about y’know. Earth shattering things like the depreciating rupee and the euro zone crisis and the general economic outlook when I suddenly decided that there should be an annual prize for being lazy. Businessweek’s list of The Most Promising Bums of 2011.  (They have a list of “hot” growth companies. HOT growth? Reaaally now? I think I want some hawt growth company myself.) And no, if you think just sitting there and doing nothing would qualify you to be a contender, hate to break it to you, being a bum is no easy job. You got to be one mean ass deep thinking bum.

Life has the weird quality to wear you out with too much activity and with no activity. I have friends (actually, make that “friends”) who are either working way too much or are losing it watching the paint dry. I belong to the latter group. It’s something I do really well. Grumble. Grumble about sitting on my bum all day staring at the crab hole in the sand next to my table at lunch and throwing little morsels of food at its inhabitant who scampers in and out to pick up my generous offerings to eat in the cool confines of his crab home.

Sunday night: I get a drunk call from friend2 who quit his job thinking he’d start something by himself. Fountain of sympathy that I am I send all sorts of jealousy vibes. Biyatch! Drinking on a Sunday night! Do you know how much we gotta work to earn our money; you think am just sitting by the beach and doing nothing, eh? Friend2: Dude, I just realized that I’m way too lazy to do anything by myself. Big mistake. Quitting job. Awkward silence.

Quick thinker that I am, I immediately change tracks to plan on become successful bums. Yeah, you need a plan for this kinda thing. You think making that Businessweek list is easy? So then we get to discussing a post he made on a blog we had going a few years back. And I ask him why he suddenly made a new post 3 years after we got forgot the blog. Response: I was dead bored. Me: So that’s the way you took revenge on the world for boring you? Take that! Bitch! Does it hurt now? Huh? Huh? How’s THAT for boring the shit out of me. You wrote a blogpost? Response: Yeah, felt way better.

So here I thought, maybe I’ll do the same. Take revenge. You just read complete crap for about three minutes. Three minutes of your life lost irreversibly. You’d probably regret that missed orgasm (pity, pity) on your deathbed cause of this post you just read. Now doesn’t that feel nice?

1 comment:

aminura ytrobarkahc said...

Ah! I thank the (non-existent) God-maybe because i donot who else to thank-that you have not deleted the blog. bum or not, atleast you are still an active blogger and i was apprehensive that you have deleted it. i have a predilection for making ridiculous assumptions but never mind me. you have however changed the url of this blog, have you not?anyway, the posts are lovely as always