song playing: "both sides now"- joni mitchell

mood: bluesy

the boy is often visited by this feeling. its when the boy wishes he could shut out the lights in his room and goto sleep. song playing on low volume to sooth the tired boy.he's repentant about things done. by him. realizing that the hurt done will take a long time to heal. praying it'd heal. knowing it looks stupid to say that now. but still praying. he didn't mean to. he was flooded by the magic. blinded almost. but thats no excuse. i don't think it is.

its like that U2 song..."You say you’ll give me..... A harbour in the tempest". right now the boy tells me he's looking for the harbour.

Moons and junes and ferris wheels
The dizzy dancing way you feel
As ev’ry fairy tale comes real
I’ve looked at love that way

But now it’s just another show
You leave ’em laughing when you go
And if you care, don’t let them know
Don’t give yourself away

I’ve looked at love from both sides now
From give and take, and still somehow
It’s love’s illusions I recall
I really don’t know love at all

-Both Sides Now, Joni Mitchell