A rather long time it has been. A lot of things have come to a pass. As i write this, there are 3 days left to the pujos. If i were in Cal, i would see the bamboo structure of the para pandal everyday from my window. I would hear the dhaak beats and new sale offers on the radio and tv 24*7. Here in the village its a different world. Theres absolutely nothing to give that pujo-is-arriving feeling. The only thing that allows the feeling is the slight misty mornings and the chill in the air at dawn and twilight. There is a certain characteristic pujo flavour to them. I just realized i haven't yet seen kash phool yet. I'll try and be a little more alert on my journey back home today evening. I have done no pujo shopping yet. Unthinkable if i were in Cal. at present.
I also think i've hit a wall with blogging of late. My blog always used to an account of my life's happenings. Nowadays i don't like that style. I even had this post which i wanted to post anonymously. Losing anonymity on a blog is (i can't find the word.)
Am listening to Joan Baez's version of No Woman No Cry. Its faster than the original by Bob Marley. The refrain "...everything's gonna be alright..." is like a support. Lean on it when you want to. Two days ago i shut the lights in my room. Thought of a certain incident that plagued me. And kept listening to Diamonds and Rust over and over again. And when i couldn't take it anymore, i lay on my bed to look up at my ceiling to think about it. My tired body shut itself off. I woke up next morning.
Enough of random ramblings. Am going home today. Am out of money. Don't have enough to buy me a ticket! And train journeys of late are things i look forward to. I can stand at the door, sipping a cha in a bhaar after a snooze. Thinking of the one thing that drives me endlessly. The one thing that makes everything exhilaratingly beafutiful and can leave me breathless.
6 comments:
post after long time.
have a great great pujo. savour every moment of it.
whoa.....emotion driven post moneholo.
I relate to what you said about wanting to post anonymously. Sometimes its not a nice thing to have people analyzing everything you are doing.
Have a great vacation : ) and take care.
dd- yes i most certainly will. and u enjoy u trip to phil.
jaded- not too much off target.
dc- EXACTLY, ekdom what i wanted to say. infact that thing about not wanting ppl to analyse everythng has increased the no. of unposted drafts on my dashboard. and thnx... i certainly will.
Glad you are going home....have a great time. Pujo te masti...for urself and for us who cannot afford to be there.
m(tread softly upon)- yes i certainly will have fun. and i cannot imagine wat it wud feel like to be in a probashi's shoes atleast during these 4 days. hope u hav a great pujo too!
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