longing for a time when there's no battles being fought in my mind... when there'll be tranquility and peace inside and i can lie on a beach in the shade of a coconut tree and look out at the huge expanse of the ocean and sky merging somewhere beyond infinity.

Mumbai... 3 months now... If I think of it, time has just flown. Its been a very different life here. Life would rather be a misnomer. The entire day goes with just office and more of it. Whenever you talk of Bombay you talk of the local trains and the amazing rush everyones in. 3 months after moving in here I feel very much a part of the crowd I used to be awed of at one time. The wierd thing is being a part of the crowd you don't realize you're a part of it.

Everyday I wake up and its a race; to the dining hall, to the train, to office and then the whole process in reverse. By the time I'm back after 12 hours, energy level wise the day's over. But not everything is that awful. The good feeling that accompanies the salary debited to my bank account in the beginning of every month is new. Its a nice cyclical thing, where every month by the latter half you begin looking forward to the month end.

Talking of which I must talk of my first big buy with my salary. I bought a Sony Ericsson K 550i. Comes with a 2 megapixel camera, radio, mp3 and all the regular stuff you get in phones nowadays. It's my fanciest possession till date. And it feels so good to have bought it off my own money. A fast track watch also was bought.

Parents keep calling to ask when I'm going home next. I will miss pujos for the first time in ever I guess. Pujos, though, had ceased to be the crazy festival ever since Kgp happened. Most Kol friends had left the city after school. But nevertheless... now even the few Kgp-Kol friends have left what is/was home. So I wouldn't know what to do much other than the para pujo. But still something special always turned up every pujo. The thought of which at this moment makes me smile.


The post is rather haphazard. With so many things that could be put in here, it's always that way. Shall leave it at this for now.

BACK

Okay, here goes one final time. Enough half posts, enough procrastinating the perfect return post, enough unfinished incoherent rushed thoughts filled posts on my dashboard now.

I must, must, mustest see to the end of this one and publish it! Its been a HUGELY long time since I've blogged. Whats gone past in these unblogged about months is too much of information and of no use to anyone. But just so there's someplace I know I've stored away this information, I shall put in anything and everything that comes boiling up in bubbles to the surface and key them in.

I've graduated, left college, got a job and am leaving Calcutta (home for the past 19 years!) for Mumbai.

I'm apprehensive, worried maybe a bit scared too. Just like I was before I had gone off for my internship. It was then, the first time I'd go and live in another city for that long. But looking back at it, it seems as if it came off as a dream!

Now, I'm leaving this more or less familiar city to go and live in another city. A city I LOVE completely. Yet there are so many things that one worries about, needlessly perhaps. At present my biggest concern is finding accommodation there. And I'm looking for co-house-hunters. Moving in alone will be prohibitively expensive in the commercial capital.

Leaving Kgp was difficult. Even now when I think of all the things that will change with the 4 years coming to an end, I feel this odd corner of my body go hollow. There are too many things that come to mind. Trying to capture the essence is beyond my limited abilities. I miss my friends, people with whom I've shared the craziest times of my life ever. The parties, the treats for flimsiest reasons, the inter-halls, the 24 hr. campus lifestyle, the hostel and its inimitable way of life, the intense competition and fighting spirit so intrinsic to Kgp life and yet the unfaltering friendship you'd share even with your sworn rival... Its difficult to try not talking about all the things that won't ever come back; yet I feel any attempt I make will just ruin the picture I'd try to paint.

Its all a past well remembered and dear. To be recalled many many years later with a warm glowing fondness. Of all the things we learned and shared in these growing up years.

I still remember the final weeks spent preparing for the Grand Viva and Project Presentation. Nights and days were spent waking and grappling with the enormous amount of work, the feeling of things coming to an end sneaking in only as much allowed by the worries of the final deadlines and finally swamping you once the whole ordeal got over. And then before I knew it, I'd got my stuff packed and was standing outside the door of my room looking at the bare walls and being incapable of comprehending the hollowness I saw and felt.

Its a pretty long post already, I shall call it an end now. Have a day of packing ahead and then off to a busy busy time in my life. A very important period for me. I'm not sure when I shall get the chance to fill in this page. To whoever's reading this... thank you for stopping by :)

Will surely be back sometime, just don't know when.